She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Randomize
