If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
