You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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