There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
