I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize