you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
