so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
