As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
