no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
