saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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