Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
