i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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