my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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