dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
