Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
