There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
