i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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