No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
third nipple confirmed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
