definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
