It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize