Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
