gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
