Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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