You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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