dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
