"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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