STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
