theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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