fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
