We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
