so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
