i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
don't judge my taste in strippers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize