We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Mom said you looked used
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
