is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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