Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
