The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
