is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
