I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize