Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
