I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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