I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize