i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize