Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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