Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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