is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
