it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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