Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
