no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
