You just made me feel so damn special
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
