He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I would fuck him just for his dog
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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