I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
this hospital has no fireball
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
