i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
