Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
