He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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