No, drunk sperm still make babies.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
