She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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