she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
