even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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