theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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