I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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