Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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